I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
