Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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