How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
