I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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