11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
