one two three fourrrrnication!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
