I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
