it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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