I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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