is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
