He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
