i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
