every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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