waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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