I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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