Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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