I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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