I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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