is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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