I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
