I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
