he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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