i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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