Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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