my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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