I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
