My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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