I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
