The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Less talking, more tequila
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
