Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize