He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
