Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
