hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Girls should come with a carfax report
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
