six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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