I should be sponsored by Trojan
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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