Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
