I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
