I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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