Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
