I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
