if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
