apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That accounts for only three of the penises
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
