it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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