allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize