great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
