4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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