you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
