It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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