I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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