Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
