Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
