wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm both gender and math confused
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
