We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
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