Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
