I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
